Press play to hear the audio version of this post, or click this link to download.

 

Many people have come to me over the years, at least half of them willingly, and most not under sedation.  And of that half, some of those people have serious problems, and of those people, many of them do not know that I haven’t the faintest idea what I can do for them.  None.

You see, I’m not a bona fide “doctor” in the strictest sense; that is, in the sense that a “university” has granted me a “doctorate.”  My doctorate is what I call the doctorate of life.  It wasn’t handed to me by a “dean of students” on a “platform,” unless that dean of students was life, and the platform was also life in a slightly different metaphorical sense.

So what do I do for those people who come to me and say, “Dr. Matt, I’ve got serious problems”? 

Well, I tell them the same thing I’m going to say to you: “Stop having problems, stupid!”

 

That’s what I said!

It sounds simple, doesn’t it?  Just simply stop having problems.  Some people say, “But Dr. Matt, I’ve got chronic depression.”  That sure sounds like a serious problem.  Until you stop having it.  Think about it.  If you stop having it, then it doesn’t exist, and that means it’s no longer serious.

One person said to me, “Dr. Matt, I suffer from panic attacks.”

I said, “Did you try not having them?”

They admitted they had never tried to simply not have them.  They were just there, as if they just showed up one day and were there to stay.  Once the panic attacks started, they accepted them as something they had.  That’s stupid! 

Now, I know some of you out there like to make things complicated.  You think it’s just too simple to stop having problems.  You paid good money for this book, and now you want to see me work for it, to put my doctorate degree to good use.

Well, I’ve got just the thing for you, oh negative nanny.  This book is plum full of amusing anecdotes, inspirational speeches, doctoral jargon, and loads of other stuff that will get you to stop having problems, guaranteed.

Ready to get started stopping?  Okay, then.