http://thedrmatt.com The Most Famous Fake Doctor Of Our Time Fri, 16 Jul 2010 16:16:06 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 The Most Famous Fake Doctor Of Our Time Dr. Matt no Matt Leichty mdleichty@hotmail.com http://thedrmatt.com/2010/07/16/dr-matts-question-and-answer-orgy-volume-1/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/07/16/dr-matts-question-and-answer-orgy-volume-1/#comments Fri, 16 Jul 2010 16:16:06 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=548 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/07/16/dr-matts-question-and-answer-orgy-volume-1/feed/ 0 Folks, usually I take one fan’s question at a time and give a thoughtful and thorough response. Today, I’m going to take on many of you at once, dividing up my thoughtfulness and thoroughness equally, with equality being determined by yours truly. QUESTION #1: Why did LeBron abandon his hometown to earn less money? DR. MATT: Sometimes we need to leave the nest in order to learn how to fly.  And other times, we are named LeBron James. QUESTION #2: What don’t I know I don’t know? DR. MATT: Mostly the mating calls and dances of prehistoric animals.  I know what you’re thinking: you think you knew that you didn’t know that, but you didn’t. QUESTION #3: In what year do you think the containers will be worth more than the products inside? DR. MATT: This is a trick question. The containers are empty. QUESTION #4:  I recently took a “douche detector quiz.” It turns out that I am a “half-n-half douchebag” according to the douchebag professionals. How do I go about correcting this “douchebagedness?” Help!! DR. MATT: I’ve never heard of douchebag professionals, but if they’re truly professionals, then their ability to evaluate douchebaggery probably holds some weight.  The upside is that your douchebaggedness is, as of now, only half-n-half, meaning that you still have some very good qualities.  I’m slightly suspicious that this question is not genuine and perhaps these professionals do not exist. QUESTION #5: Why is the yellow green? DR. MATT: Probably either improperly prepared chicken, or properly prepared Mexican food. QUESTION #6:  Dr. Matt, do you feel lucky? DR. MATT: If you were me, you would know that a feeling of being lucky is inescapable, because you had somehow become the Most Famous Fake Doctor Of Our Time, thus displacing me into probably an alternate dimension where everyone has goatees instead of fine mustaches. QUESTION #7: How do you do it Dr. Matt? Help so many people and yet stay so humble and centered? I want to be just like you. Can you help me to acheive this kind of greatness such as yourself. DR. MATT: Being truly humble is not easy, but one can accomplish this with flying colors and within short order, be recognized for their humility (and other accomplishments) by throngs of adoring fans, such as I have.  What you have to do is be persistent.  Don’t back down when your humility is questioned, and demonstrate it at every turn to put the doubters in their place. Many of these great attributes feature greatly into greatness.  Can I help you acheive this kind of greatness?  Perhaps, but only by demonstrating it in myself, and proudly displaying great aspects like humility.  By seeing someone willing to stand up and declare themselves to be great, it empowers those who witness it to stand up and do the same. The catch is that embracing greatness means you demonstrate it in yourself.  So, you can’t be great like me, but like me, you can be great. Thanks for your questions!  The more questions you ask, the more I can tell you what to do. -Dr. Matt* * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:Ask Dr. Matt: Should older women date younger men?The Dream of the Painter: Part 1Ask Dr. Matt: What’s Wrong With Humans?Ask Dr. Matt: Top 10 Pieces of Advice for 2010Ask Dr. Matt: My boyfriend ruined my clothes! What now? Folks, usually I take one fan’s question at a time and give a thoughtful and thorough response. Today, I’m going to take on many of you at once, dividing up my thoughtfulness and thoroughness equally, with equality being determined by yours [...] Dr. Matt 00:04:06 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/06/18/familiarity-vs-formality/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/06/18/familiarity-vs-formality/#comments Fri, 18 Jun 2010 16:23:52 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=530 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/06/18/familiarity-vs-formality/feed/ 0 Once in a while, I’ll encounter someone who is really enthusiastic about me and my work.  Actually, usually pretty much everyone is enthusiastic about me, so that’s not the issue.  The issue is that, for some, their enthusiasm translates into seeking familiarity with me.  Sometimes this happens in counseling sessions, and sometimes at sell-out seminars. So, what’s the problem with treating Dr. Matt like your good ol’ pal from junior high, or your ex-lover who you are again on good terms with, on the off chance that your current relationship will fail and you’ll need a backup?  The problem is that I’m not those people.  Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not offended by this behavior.  I’m just letting you know that this behavior is off-putting and stupid. And, perhaps you’re not aware of it, but if you’re responding to me this way, then you’re probably jarring quite a few people around you when you treat them with familiarity (not that you have any other celebrities in your life). Sure, the impulse is understandable.  If you lack intimacy in your life, then you desire to get close to people.  It seems like one way is to pretend that you already are close, to treat them with familiarity in hopes that they will accept the reality you project. When I interact with fans on the Internets, I always address them with an English honorific: Mr. or Ms.  I do this to set up a relationship of honor and respect, which I feel is absolutely essential before I tell someone what to do.  Now, while you may feel silly addressing your friends or colleagues in this way, I little formality goes a long way. A tone of formality tells people that you respect their boundaries, and that you honor them as a person.  Once a month, Midgie and I formally ask each other how we feel the relationship is going and if there are any changes that we would like to make.  Sure, we could ask this question offhand when it comes to mind while we’re eating popcorn on the couch watching Midgie’s favorite adult movies, but we feel it wouldn’t treat the question with the respect it deserves.  The tone of formality sets the context for the importance of the content. So, next time you see Dr. Matt at a book signing, don’t be the obsessed familiar fan who thinks we’re old friends because you’re read everything I’ve written, and listened to everything I’ve said.  Instead, be the obsessed formal fan, who’s done all the same reading and writing, but doesn’t creep me out about it. Just My Thoughts, Dr. Matt* * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:The Jerk CircleAsk Dr. Matt: Top 10 Pieces of Advice for 2010You Are Your Best LoverTake Care of Your Own Crap – Dr. Matt’s Thoughts – Tuesday, June 12th, 2007The Importance of Friends Once in a while, I’ll encounter someone who is really enthusiastic about me and my work.  Actually, usually pretty much everyone is enthusiastic about me, so that’s not the issue.  The issue is that, for some, their enthusiasm translates into [...] Dr. Matt 00:03:23 fans,familiarity,formality http://thedrmatt.com/2010/06/12/the-unsexiness-of-stress/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/06/12/the-unsexiness-of-stress/#comments Sun, 13 Jun 2010 05:04:34 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=524 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/06/12/the-unsexiness-of-stress/feed/ 0 In the last while, my partner Midgie has been working on getting her PhD.  Thankfully, I haven’t been through this process, but I hear it can be a bit of a challenge, and lately she’s been a little stressed out.  Sometimes when Midgie gets stressed, I take a stroll outside or spend some time in the library reading one of the books I’ve written.  It’s not that I don’t want to help her out, but stress is contagious, and catching someone else’s virus doesn’t help cure them. Midgie said once that she was jealous of the fact that I didn’t seem to be affected by stress.  I told her what I tell a lot of people who ask me about stress.  First, I am affected by it.  Stress is like an undisciplined dog.  When it eats your shoes, you can’t avoid being affected by it.  The average person says “Oh no” and wrings their hands over the shoes, then gets over it, buys a new pair of shoes, and places them in front of the dog.  What do I do?  I use my noggin and put the dog outside. You see, stress is a kind of cascading, self-amplifying response.  We all have stressors, so it isn’t the stress that’s the problem, nor even the situation that generated it.  It’s you standing there, wringing your hands while the stupid dog eats your shoes.  It’s your reaction to that situation, and then your reaction to your reaction.  Why do you do this?  Well, for most it’s the feeling of fear.  It can be the fear of helplessness, or the fear of abandonment, or the fear of survival.  When something generates that feeling, then the Stress Regeneration Machine powers up and gets to work. It’s not that I don’t get stressed, it’s that I power down the Stress Regeneration Machine almost as soon as I hear it turn on.  If the dog acts up, I put the dog outside, plain and simple.  The reason I can do this, and the reason you can do it too is that none of those situations that come up are outside of my ability to handle them. Now, I know what you’re saying to yourself.  ”Sure, Dr. Matt says I can just drop my stress just like he said I could drop my problems.”  I know, I make it sound simple.  And I only make it sound simple because, well, it is.  When stress has you wrapped up like a hazing at a fraternity, everything seems dramatic and complicated.  It seems that way because that’s exactly what stress does.  It’s its job to make everything seem complicated.  So, rest assured, if you’re stressed and it seems like the world is going to end, then that’s a good indicator that everything is perfectly fine, and it’s going to turn out alright. Look, Midgie is going to get her PhD.  Why on earth would anyone keep one from that sexy lady, especially when it’s a PhD in Human Sexuality?  Therefore, the stress is not an indicator of the truth, only the echo of a lie.  And I don’t have much time for things that lie, but maybe you have more time on your hands than I do. So, those of you who get stressed, I’ll say to you what I said to Midgie: “Breathe deep, relax, and know that very soon, you’re going to teach a whole bunch of people about weird sex.” Just My Thoughts, Dr. Matt* * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:What is your job? – Dr. Matt’s Thoughts for July 11, 2007The Fear of Getting One’s Teeth Kicked InThe Story of the OtherReal Lies, Fake Truth, and NakednessAsk Dr. Matt: Top 10 Pieces of Advice for 2010 In the last while, my partner Midgie has been working on getting her PhD.  Thankfully, I haven’t been through this process, but I hear it can be a bit of a challenge, and lately she’s been a little stressed out.  Sometimes when Midgie gets [...] Dr. Matt 00:04:15 fear,midgie,sex,stress http://thedrmatt.com/2010/05/21/texas-religion-and-high-fructose-corn-syrup/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/05/21/texas-religion-and-high-fructose-corn-syrup/#comments Fri, 21 May 2010 17:07:53 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=515 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/05/21/texas-religion-and-high-fructose-corn-syrup/feed/ 0 Since I’m a Texas boy, I know you folks have been waiting for me to say something about the Texas state Board of Education voting on controversial new changes to school textbooks.  If you don’t know, the state school board has added language to history books saying that the country’s Founding Fathers were guided by Christian principles and including positive references to the Moral Majority, the National Rifle Association and the GOP’s Contract with America. According to the folks at MSNBC, they’ve also chosen to downplay “…Thomas Jefferson’s role in world and U.S. history because he advocated the separation of church and state…” Texas school board member Cynthia Noland Dunbar said about this: “There seems to be a denial that this was a nation founded under God. We had to go back and make some corrections.” One of the things that strikes me about the constant push from some of these people to put more God into education is that seems to imply an underlying fear that without a constant indoctrination of Christianity, kids in schools would never elect to turn to Christianity by choice. It’s not another religion or another belief system that’s viewed as a threat; it’s a religion-free environment that’s viewed as a threat. The pervasiveness of choice and free will seems to be seen as a major problem by the Texas state Board of Education. And while the Christians in this group are afraid of the absence of God in education and politics, they seem to fail to recognize the damage the rejection of separation of church and state does to the church. Christianity has become the high-fructose corn syrup of belief systems: it’s in everything and has come to add almost nothing of value. Oh, don’t get me wrong. It’s not anything rotten to the core. After all, a kernel of corn is nutritious and healthy. Similarly, Christianity came from the teachings of a man of great wisdom. But then it was boiled down, the nutrition was taken out until it was nothing but a meaningless additive. It’s cheap to produce and easy to put into something, so why not, they say? Why not put a little more God in that textbook? Or that school? Or that political speech? Since pointing out that this is oppressive to people of other belief systems is meaningless to these people, I’ll simply point out the obvious. When you expect all of your politicians and schoolteachers–in other words, your social and governmental leaders–to make Christianity-affirming statements, without any further qualification or reasoning of their beliefs, then the religion they supposedly represent means nothing. If you alter textbooks and teachings to prop up a religious belief, then, in doing so, you demonstrate that the belief itself has no inherent value, other than it’s highly insertable into other products. Like I said, high-fructose corn syrup. In other words, the people destroying Christianity today are, most decidedly, Christians. That wouldn’t be so much of a concern for me if they weren’t destroying everything else while imploding. It would be fine if disgraced priests were publicly stripped of their power after abusing it, except that their abuse of power harmed children. And it would be okay with me if the Texas school board’s abuse of power damaged the very thing they are using as their fuel for abuse of power, except that it, too, is harming children. I don’t want any Texas boys to grow up with a less than quality education just because they happened to live near a Belief System Production Facility. And if they want to follow a religious path, it might be nice if those paths were available by choice. “Dr. Matt, there’s lots of choices”, you say. Well, there’s lots of choices at a grocery store, but try going to one in the U.S. and buying a beverage without high-fructose corn syrup.  Hey, I’m not saying Coca-Cola shouldn’t exist.  It’s a great invention and is fabulous with rum. [...] Since I’m a Texas boy, I know you folks have been waiting for me to say something about the Texas state Board of Education voting on controversial new changes to school textbooks.  If you don’t know, the state school board has added language [...] Dr. Matt 00:05:20 education,religion,texas http://thedrmatt.com/2010/04/26/if-anyones-crazy-its-not-me/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/04/26/if-anyones-crazy-its-not-me/#comments Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:28:15 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=507 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/04/26/if-anyones-crazy-its-not-me/feed/ 0 I’ve been riding the bus a lot lately, ever since my Toyota Plug-In Hybrid Prius suddenly accelerated towards the edge of a cliff while I was parking.  As you know, my Prius is something that is sacred to me, so this was an event that profoundly affected me at a spiritual level.  If the thing I chose had some flaws, then is there something wrong with my choice? Anyway, I was on the bus the other day, and there was a crazy guy on it.  I mean, crazier than usual for Vancouver.  He was talking out loud to either no one or everyone, and it was making people pretty uncomfortable.  At first, I just wanted him to shut up, but I was fascinated by the fact that while he was crazy, he was speaking some important truths.  He was obsessively talking about recent wrongdoings in the Catholic Church, and the quality of men who would do such a thing.  Of course, to call them recent would be a misnomer, since the institution of the church has long been unable to kick the habit of abusing people.  You know, sort of like someone who can’t seem to ever give up smoking. So, the problem with the man on the bus wasn’t that he was saying things that were crazy, it was that he was crazy in how he was saying them.  He’d found the truth, but had wrapped himself up in it so that he appeared to see nothing else, such as whether or not his utterances were having any positive effect for anyone, including himself.  Obviously, his motor was not firing on all cylinders, but to a lesser degree, I can see how many people exhibit this same behavior. Haven’t you met a person who comes to a new truth about themselves, and instead of incorporating that new truth in a gentle way, they abandon everything else of themselves, as if they were waiting for a way to escape their own skin?  They find out they like the color green, and suddenly, you won’t find another color on them, and their favorite topic of conversation is how other people are so misguided by their preference of reds and blues.  The irony is that these people think that they have a sense of themselves, when they clearly have very little.  Their eyes are focused at one spot of river, and when something floats by that they recognize as theirs, they dive in, pull it back to shore, and then stare it like a crazed raccoon. I don’t know why this was so much on my mind.  The truth is, I’ve felt a little off-balance without being able to drive my Prius.  I mean, that Plug-In Hybrid Prius is everything to me.  It says everything about who Dr. Matt is: smart, efficient, and sexy.  It’s not that I don’t have it anymore or that it’s out of order, but how can you trust something that suddenly accelerates out of your control?  I’ve loved everything about that car, but obviously, it’s hard to love something that is going to start behaving in an unpredictable manner.  If Dr. Matt makes extremely wise choices, and he does, then what does it say when one of those choices has some unanticipated consequences? I know what you’re thinking, and I agree.  With such a dilemma, the only logical conclusion is that there’s something terribly amiss with the Universe. Just My Thoughts, Dr. Matt* * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:Getting What You Want – Dr. Matt’s Thoughts – Sept. 24, 2007Is There Bad Love?Is it Coincidence? – Dr. Matt’s Thoughts – August 16th, 2007The Story of the OtherDR. MATT CLASSICS: Bah Humbug I’ve been riding the bus a lot lately, ever since my Toyota Plug-In Hybrid Prius suddenly accelerated towards the edge of a cliff while I was parking.  As you know, my Prius is something that is sacred to me, so this was an event that [...] Dr. Matt 00:03:47 prius,crazy,control,wraps http://thedrmatt.com/2010/04/06/dont-pick-on-the-pope/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/04/06/dont-pick-on-the-pope/#comments Tue, 06 Apr 2010 17:30:16 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=500 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/04/06/dont-pick-on-the-pope/feed/ 0 Folks, because of the recent sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church, the Pope has been in the news a lot lately.  Many have asked questions like: “Does the Pope hold responsibility for the actions of these priests?  Is the sin of omission tantamount to a sin of commission?  Is the fact that the Vatican was granted a status as a sovereign state by the man who created fascism problematic?  Does the installment of a figurehead which has been granted moral authority, a top placement in a spiritual hierarchy, and immunity from prosecution as the head of a sovereign state troubling to anyone?” Now, while the answer to those questions is “yes,” picking on the Pope is far too easy.  He’s sitting in an office that has been historically designed to abuse power, so what is he going to do?  He doesn’t get to wear Lululemon athletic apparel when making his rounds of dogmatic oppression, so he’s stuck in the same goopy system as everyone else, only in fancier clothes.  So, no picking on the Pope today.  As far as I’m concerned, he has nearly as much moral and spiritual authority as I do, so he can speak his mind. What does concern me is the fate of people in those churches, who have invested their spiritual path with the notion that the guy in the fancy robes up front is less flawed than they, and as a result, has a greater access to their spirit and to God.  Folks, the idea that anyone on this planet has a better idea of what your path truly should be, is a quick ticket to damnation.  Parents with this stupid notion have left their children with men forced to repress their sexuality, long after those children have been taught this same flawed idea, that the individual they are meeting has a greater voice of authority and power than they have access to themselves. Midgie once said in a sermon in a church: “If we stopped believing the premise that we are evil, then we would no longer need to have someone save us.” Now, Midgie’s a little bolder than I am, and she raised a few eyebrows with that one.  I’m sure some of you might even be saying, “Dr. Matt, it sounds like you’re undermining the whole basis for Christianity, and I don’t like it.”  No no, I would be the last to attack anyone’s religion, simply because I have better things to do first.  I just think that it’s clear that people are saying that the Pope holds responsibility for participating in a system that protects priests while endangering children.  And I’m just pointing out that this system comes from the idea that one of those human beings has more authority, and a greater holy mission than the other.  If we hold the Pope and church accountable, and wish to challenge the idea, then it would stand to reason that we have to make sure that we are not participating in such an idea ourselves.  It might be kind of confusing to a child to say that they should trust themselves and they have it within them to choose their own path, and at the same time claim they are evil and they should start looking for some people to tell them what to do.  I’m not saying that you can’t tell them such things.  I’m only pointing out the obvious: that this idea is what has endangered many children around the world. So, don’t pick on the Pope.  Or the priests or the church.  They’ve only been acting with the authority you’ve given them, with the premise that you’ve supplied.  Sure, prosecute the ones who’ve done wrong.  But if you think of yourself as evil, and needing anyone to step in for you, then stop waving your god-damned finger around. Just My Thoughts, Dr. Matt* * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:Texas, Religion, and High-Fructose Corn SyrupThe Story of the OtherWhat is Noob Sauce? – Ask Dr Matt! – Tuesday, May 15, 2007Real Lies, Fake Truth, and NakednessDr. Matt’s Thoughts – Friday, April 6th, 2007 Folks, because of the recent sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church, the Pope has been in the news a lot lately.  Many have asked questions like: “Does the Pope hold responsibility for the actions of these priests?  Is the sin of omission [...] Dr. Matt 00:04:20 the pope,catholicism,church,spirituality,sexuality http://thedrmatt.com/2010/03/26/you-say-its-not-possible-but-youre-dumb/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/03/26/you-say-its-not-possible-but-youre-dumb/#comments Fri, 26 Mar 2010 16:33:18 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=495 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/03/26/you-say-its-not-possible-but-youre-dumb/feed/ 0 It’s been a little while since I’ve jotted down my thoughts to you folks.  I spent a number of days at the International Psychology Conference, where I gave a lecture entitled, “Regaining Things In Your Life That You Stupidly Lost.”  You see, when we’re young and we haven’t been burdened with all of society’s limitations of what we can achieve, we tend to reach far and, in many ways, accomplish quite a bit.  Over time, people continue to tell you what you can’t do.  If you’re older, you can’t be as active.  If you’re married, you can’t have great sex.  If you have kids, you can’t have fun like you used to.  Rather than challenge any of these assumptions, people for some reason agree with these rules. Folks, that’s not only stupid, it’s dangerous.  When you agree to a stupid rule about what you can’t do, it’s like putting a sippy cup lid on the elixer of life.  All of those rules will be proven to be true, because the person who set about proving them true will be you. Now, I’m sure you consider yourself a practical person, and you may be saying, “Dr. Matt, that sounds all nice and dreamy, but I really CAN’T do some things.”  First of all, stop being so difficult.  Secondly, you’re likely hyperfocusing on specific details that you may have found difficult, and you haven’t looked at the big picture of what’s possible. The Paralympics just ended in Vancouver, and I’m sure many of those people had crushing moments where they realized there was one specific thing that they could not do.  Yet I bet dollars to donuts that they were subsequently able to achieve something that surprised even them. You think what you’ve lost is possibility, but what you’ve likely lost is ambition.  Ambition is what creates possibility.  Ambition is what turns someone like J.K. Rowling into a successful author, and lack of ambition and lack of confidence leaves others as frustrated, yet eloquent, writers of corporate memos. It’s time for you to challenge the notions of what is actually possible for you, because it’s a hell of a lot greater than what you may imagine. Don’t worry if you don’t believe me now.  I’ll be sure to repeat it on a regular basis when I start my weekly appearances on the Ellen Degeneres show. Just My Thoughts, Dr. Matt* * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:The Olympics are Done, But the Party’s Not OverLike Money, Like SelfAsk Dr. Matt: Should older women date younger men?Relationships Are Collaboration, Not NegotiationIs My Husband a Cylon? It’s been a little while since I’ve jotted down my thoughts to you folks.  I spent a number of days at the International Psychology Conference, where I gave a lecture entitled, “Regaining Things In Your Life That You Stupidly Lost.”  You [...] Dr. Matt 00:02:53 ambition,possibility,paralympics http://thedrmatt.com/2010/03/02/the-olympics-are-done-but-the-partys-not-over/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/03/02/the-olympics-are-done-but-the-partys-not-over/#comments Tue, 02 Mar 2010 17:36:53 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=490 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/03/02/the-olympics-are-done-but-the-partys-not-over/feed/ 0 Well, Vancouver (and other parts of the world not so gorgeous, save Texas), the Olympics are over.  I was pretty busy during these Olympics, volunteering as the Official Uncertified Psychologist of the games.  And now, of course, there’s additional work for me, because there’s a significant wave of depression that’s hit folks that have been preparing months or even years for this event.  BOOM, they woke up on Monday and realized there’s no more for them to do.  No more glory, no more spotlight.  One day they’re a volunteer uncertified psychologist, and the next day no one’s saying, “Hey, who is that guy?  Is he supposed to be here?”  Yes, he was, and now, apparently, you don’t need him any more. So, what can I do for these people, who are feeling blue after getting such attention from the media and security personnel?  Well, a few things.  First, you have to remember that the Olympics did not define you.  You brought what makes you wonderful to this event.  In effect, an event like this is made up of people.  It’s not some entity that you just coalesce into.  Each person had to be willing to show up, to be a part of the party in order for the party to happen. Sure, some people didn’t want to be a part of the party.  But I don’t really want to talk about them, because people who object to an event which creates international good will and a moment of peace between people, because of the negative environmental (or whatever) impact of creating that huge force of good will have lost all perspective.  It would be like throwing a party and having someone attend and saying, “Oh, you know what?  You really could have used more biodegradable plates and forks for the cheese that I’m eating right now, which probably came from a mistreated cow.  Why am I wearing all black and hiding my face while I insult your cheese?  It’s because I take no personal responsibility for my words.”  And then that person suddenly grabs your cheese and hurls it through a window.  People like that at parties are the most annoying people imaginable. Fortunately, because of the force of goodwill, the negative impact of those negative nannies was minimal, and we barely heard about them after the first few days.  So let’s go back to the people who made this time wonderful. As I said, you brought your wonderful selves to this event, and whatever qualities you brought, that you contributed to this party, you still have.  ”That sounds familiar, Dr. Matt,” I’m sure you’re saying.  You’re right, it’s the same sort of thing I say about relationship break-ups.  The relationship between the Olympics and Vancouver has ended, and like most people who have been dumped, it’s natural to feel a little glum about it, and perhaps to take it personally. But what Vancouver needs to do is to start dating again.  Get out there.  Find your party.  If you miss talking to people on the bus during the last big party, then talk to people on the bus.  You don’t have to wait for the party to happen.  It didn’t exist separate from you.  It existed with you, and without you giving uncertified advice, it couldn’t have happened at all.  In fact, give yourself a gold medal.  For showing up, and being a part of one of the best parties in a long time. And most importantly, for not being an asshole who throws cheese through windows. Just My Thoughts, Dr. Matt* * Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:Dr. Matt’s Thoughts – Tuesday, February 27th, 2007Momentum, People, Momentum! – Dr. Matt’s Thoughts – Tuesday, April 24th, 2007The River of Confidence (and the Dam of Stupidity)The Story of the OtherPotential is Non-Transferable Well, Vancouver (and other parts of the world not so gorgeous, save Texas), the Olympics are over.  I was pretty busy during these Olympics, volunteering as the Official Uncertified Psychologist of the games.  And now, of course, there’s [...] Dr. Matt 00:04:23 olympics,depression,parties http://thedrmatt.com/2010/02/08/ask-dr-matt-should-older-women-date-younger-men/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/02/08/ask-dr-matt-should-older-women-date-younger-men/#comments Mon, 08 Feb 2010 07:44:29 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=484 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/02/08/ask-dr-matt-should-older-women-date-younger-men/feed/ 0 Dear Dr. Matt- What are Dr. Matt’s thoughts on girls dating younger men? Signed, Cultured, Older Unattached Gal After Romance Dear COUGAR, My guess from your question is that this isn’t a hypothetical.  There’s a guy that crossed your path that created quite a spark, but the age discrepancy gave you pause.  I can also safely guess that this question isn’t about the mechanics of such a coupling.  Amongst adults, the mechanics of physical intimacy tend to be pretty much identical.  Nor is this question about even whether or not you would enjoy dating someone of a younger age.  You already have a sense of the possibilities that exist there, otherwise that fine young piece of man meat wouldn’t be on your mind. So, why is it a question at all?  Well, like most, you’re probably not so much concerned with the immediate gratification of such an adventure, but the long-term implications.  Will we stay interested in each other, or will we be too different?  Will we share the same goals?  How would we make a future work?  Will people mistake him as my hot son, and will this be awkward socially? Of course, what you may not have considered is that all these questions are identical no matter what the demographic of that other person.  The implication of your question is that someone who matches you in age is “normal” and its normality has a greater chance of stability.  But, darlin’, it’s all a big mystery.  So, instead of worrying about one particular factoid about that person, look at that individual honestly, and their possible compatibility with you.  Remember, you did just ask about dating, so bear in mind you don’t have to plan your entire future.  I grew up on a farm in Texas with some cows, and I can tell you that not all of the intimate interactions between cows were ones that could biologically produce calves.  You can learn something valuable from them, but for some reason, any further cow metaphors sound fairly inappropriate in my own head, so COUGAR, I’ll let you figure it out from here. Sincerely, Dr. Matt* *Dr. Matt is not a real doctor. Related Posts:Dr. Matt’s Question and Answer Orgy, Volume 1The Dream of the Painter: Part 1Ask Dr. Matt: Top 10 Pieces of Advice for 2010Fine, Choice and Freedom are REALLY ImportantAsk Dr. Matt: What’s Wrong With Humans? Dear Dr. Matt- What are Dr. Matt’s thoughts on girls dating younger men? Signed, Cultured, Older Unattached Gal After Romance Dear COUGAR, My guess from your question is that this isn’t a hypothetical.  There’s a guy that crossed your path [...] Dr. Matt 00:02:58 dating,cougars http://thedrmatt.com/2010/01/26/real-lies-fake-truth-and-nakedness/ http://thedrmatt.com/2010/01/26/real-lies-fake-truth-and-nakedness/#comments Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:25:56 +0000 admin http://thedrmatt.com/?p=436 http://thedrmatt.com/2010/01/26/real-lies-fake-truth-and-nakedness/feed/ 0 I’ve been working on this book about relationships lately that I know you’re all eagerly anticipating.  As they say, you can’t rush genius so you’ll have to go on waiting for a bit.  I was originally going to call it, “Just Stop Having Stupid Relationships.”  But now I think I’m going with the title: “When It Comes To Relationships, You’ve Been An Idiot.”  I think either title expresses my point. I was talking about the book with Midgie one day, because I was stuck in a part of the book on intimacy.  I’m not sure what that’s all about, because if there’s anyone who knows how to be intimate it’s this guy.  I mean, I show my true self to everyone I meet, never hiding behind a facade or “character” if you will.  I’m comfortable with how I feel about things, so I let people know it, in as loud a voice as possible.  If you want to know how real I am, just look at my moustache.  It’s 100% all-natural grown from the pores of Dr. Matt.  That takes dedication and a willingness to be visible, two of the staples of intimacy. Speaking of being visible, the other day, I was having dinner with some lesbians and straight folk, and I got in a conversation with a lady about public figures.  She claimed that all actors and performers were insecure, and put on a persona in order to say and be something they normally would not.  It sounded somewhat plausible, although the idea that someone would be outwardly flamboyant as a way to hide, is, at first blush, counter-intuitive.  We were discussing it in terms of news personalities, and she seemed to be lumping in all news personalities who affect a character as participating in something of a deception, so that any misinformation that any of them deliver is simply par for the course.  In other words, Bill O’Reilly, she said, could be viewed as no different from Stephen Colbert, as both were creating characters loosely tied to the news. Her idea was that one could equate “real” with “Truth.”  Therefore, anyone who is not “real” cannot be considered truthful or trustworthy.  But, if we equate these, then must we accept the opposite?  That “real” people are inherently more truthful and trustworthy?  Folks, in downtown Vancouver, I often pass people by on the street who are as real as it gets.  I saw a man once who was walking around aimlessly, shouting insane things, expelling anything that came to his mind.  He didn’t seem to be concerned with the perception of others, or presenting himself in a manner that would alter that perception.  Does that mean he speaks the truth?  That he’s trustworthy? “Oh, Dr. Matt,” you’re saying.  ”That’s not a fair example.  That’s a man with mental illness, and your friend meant people who are sane and straightforward.”  Fair enough. It’s possible that using Glenn Beck in an example like that is unfair, and why I was watching him on a TV in downtown Vancouver I’m not sure. In the book of Genesis, there’s the story of Adam and Eve, and that when they learned the Truth, they became ashamed of how exposed they were to each other.  Their temptation was to hide from each other, but they found a compromise, which was to put on clothes.  Being human beings, sometimes we need an alteration in our reality in order to see reality for what it is.  There is a reason that Avatar was so moving for some.  (It should be moving for all, but I forgive you.)  In fact, not surprisingly, a movie like that which depicts displaced cultures is often more moving than a current news story about “real” displaced cultures.  A reality that we are disconnected from cannot effectively deliver truth, no matter how grounded it is in actual fact.  But a “fake” reality that we connect to can hold much truth for us. Ah, you’re getting the idea now, aren’t you?  It’s not about the “realness” of those people out there at all, it’s entirely about you and your ability to [...] I’ve been working on this book about relationships lately that I know you’re all eagerly anticipating.  As they say, you can’t rush genius so you’ll have to go on waiting for a bit.  I was originally going to call it, “Just Stop Having [...] Dr. Matt 00:06:10 intimacy,reality,truth